I experienced the quake

How it feels when you experience earthquake? I got the answer to this question recently. A usual work day, at lunch break I was chit chatting with my colleague. Those are few minutes when we talk about everything under the sun, well almost. When we were engaged in a hearty conversation nibbling at our food ( that gets second priority in offices always) the table shook. The chairs as well. The first response was it’s an earthquake and we said that together with a smile. As if we have waited all our lives for this very moment. 

I rushed out of my room and called others, they had felt the same. Now we had to rush down.  I realized later on what a weird thing that was to do, rush down the stairs from one of the top floors of a high rise.  As if the earthquake will wait for us, give us time to reach down and then it will start its act. But then what else can you expect from novices. We reached the ground floor and could see people from other offices standing there as well. Ok it was like a death trap, surrounded by number of tall buildings, some hundred people standing and trying to analyze what hit them. 

Needless to add here, the tremors were mild. I think we knew that, all of us. Somehow I found one thing missing in the whole scenario, panic. I don’t know why but we all were either laughing or calling our family and friends excitedly as if we have achieved something. On second thoughts actually we did. Some who couldn’t feel the tremors were kind of disappointed. 

After half an hour interaction with mother nature we all went upstairs and were just trying to get to work which was affected by that time. It was the only thing which suffered that day. The ground shook again. Now we were  pro and we did the wrong thing again with elan, rushed down. This time I was two steps ahead. I went down by an elevator. Why I did that? I thought if the tremors will be strong anyway by the time we would reach down by stairs we would be affected why not take a chance, I may reach faster. 

Nothing happened as such. Yes rumors  started  doing the rounds that another tremor will be felt at 6pm. I am not sure who was the astrologer and why he didn’t predict about the other two incidents. Anyway we didn’t pay much heed to that. Some wanted to go home early as if the quake will happen only at workplace and home will be safe. We completed the day on usual time and when  we went home, the thought which was there in mind was- Thank God. 

Earthquake is such a terrifying and devastating incident and the fact that we came out of it like this was by grace of God. I think we kept the humor intact in the entire scenario. My prayers that 2012 is kind to humanity.

I sensed it

We don’t believe our gut feeling. We keep on ignoring it with the thought that maybe it is wrong or maybe we have used our gray cells too much in an area where it was not required. Maybe things are not the way we perceive. What we sense is not wrong, our dismissal of the same is.

Question comes how would you differentiate what is your instinct and what is apprehension? It can be that the serious thought which came in your mind is just your fear, nothing else. This is quite possible. Then how do you know what to focus on and what not?

Here the situation gets tricky. I personally follow a process for the differentiation. When I think something is not right somewhere, I acknowledge it and at the same time go ahead and do that out of compulsion or plainly ignore any thought which crosses my mind and do what I had to do, then here I think I have ignored what my instincts told me.Yes sometimes I also listen to what my instinct tells me and even if everything is at place, I don’t act.

When am about to do a thing and I have a feeling that this may go wrong, I have to think over it and have to assure myself that things will be alright. Here my fear is actually working and my mind trying to overcome that.This situation has come many times, one was when I decided to travel alone.

The difference is in the first case where my instinct is in action, my mind has this attitude of dismissal. In the second case the mind plays a supportive role and tries to instill confidence.

All said and done, human thoughts are very complex and sometimes we fail to understand ourselves leave aside others. What I tried to discuss here can never be called a foolproof solution. But yes it works for me and the thought was there to share so that I can get more opinions. :) What do you think, how do you analyze what is your gut feeling and what is your fear?

Some forgotten thoughts

It was one of those days which I never like. One of those days when bout of sadness engulfs my soul from nowhere. When I cannot explain it in words and the feeling just lingers within me. I kept on thinking what is amiss, why I have this feeling but didn’t get any definite answers.

I kept on listening to songs. The songs which always lifted my mood were having no effect at all on me. I couldn’t imagine I would listen to Kishore Kumar’s songs and would be still listless. I wouldn’t like talking to anyone or will have to make an effort to do so. Such things are quite scary if viewed in isolation but they have a context when combined together. 

Seems now is the time to do some soul searching. It seems am too much engrossed with other things in life that I am forgetting the very reason why I am here. And as the gap widens my heart cries in pain over my ignorance. It has been a while since I have been with myself. Maybe the time has come. 

One mild afternoon

The leaf turned moist

Soaked in rain or dew?

It never knew…

Life got fast paced

Was it to end?

Or it has just begun?

It never knew…

Heart sang a melody

Was it happy or sad?

Did the feeling come just like that?

It never knew…

What the soul knew

It was still alive.

And it has started breathing

Some life which it missed all throughout.

The journey was long,

But the support has just come!